A place in the song

I set out three cups before I caught myself. MINO does not need tea. He might want to sit with us, though, and I had apparently decided that a cup would settle the matter before I asked him.

I put the third cup back. Then I felt ridiculous and took it down again. It could stay on the shelf until he wanted it. There: a domestic problem solved without convening a Council.

Corran was still looking at the instruments. He had that expression which generally means he has thought of a destination and is waiting for the rest of us to think of it independently. I asked whether we were leaving.

“Were you ready to?”

“I asked first.”

He looked up properly then. No, I wasn't ready. There was nothing urgent I needed to do at the Hub. I simply wanted another morning here. After so much argument about MINO's purpose, I wanted to see him occupy a place without somebody making it a test.

He had said no. I keep coming back to how difficult that must have been. People who have already decided what you are for rarely make room for an answer. They explain the question again, more slowly, in case you failed to understand your good fortune.

I know how that feels. I also know how quickly I can do a smaller version of it to someone I love. Of course MINO will help. Of course Corran will know. Of course I can manage. Everyone gets assigned a useful shape, and then we're surprised when someone becomes tired of holding it.

The tea had gone too strong while I was thinking. I drank it anyway. Corran noticed my face and offered to make another pot. I almost told him it was fine.

“Please,” I said instead.

It was a very small request. He made the tea. I stayed where I was. Neither of us needed to explain what the exchange meant.

I still have doubts about the Accord. Agreements can sound marvellous in a room full of people who have just survived something together. The awkward part comes later, when somebody is late, somebody wants a different tune and somebody would prefer to stop singing altogether. I want to know what happens to that last person.

For tonight, at least, nobody aboard this ship has asked me to be grateful on command. I have a fresh cup. Corran has left the destination unset. There is space at the table if MINO wants it.

Tomorrow I'll ask him.